Though I've come pretty close, I haven't done nothing since the semester ended. I was able to produce a brand new weekly (though at this point it's more like a monthly) comic.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
What's this? A new Destructogasm?
Though I've come pretty close, I haven't done nothing since the semester ended. I was able to produce a brand new weekly (though at this point it's more like a monthly) comic.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
FREEDOM!
This last Friday I passed the fabled threshold of the completion of the 15th. week of the semester. I'M FUCKING DONE! I'm currently naked and in bed writing this and ya know what? I feel pretty damn good about that. I have a 5 week break before my next semester at MCAD starts and I'm going to (try to) make the most out of it. I have a great deal of design, writing, and comics projects that have been on the back burners forever and I don't want to get rusty just because I'm not in school. Plus i really need to learn to work on my own steam. Anyways I figured I would let all 2 of you who read this blog that I'm not longer off the map and I'll be getting some new work online soon.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Fucking Finals
So I'm currently balls deep in finals which is why there has been so little updates. My semester at MCAD ends Friday, December 12th. Until then here another page from sheepish for everyone to enjoy.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Black Jack is
He never gets the girl. Doesn’t have any friends. He wears a cape and a colonel sanders tie. And in spite of all of this, Black Jack still manages to be a complete and total BAD ASS! One of Osamu Tezuka’s better known creations. A rogue surgeon who always goes with his gut, and if need be HIS FISTS! Refusing to get a medical license because medical licenses are for bitches. Check out the new prints of Black Jack for Vertical Inc. (with exceptionally well designed covers).
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sheepish
Since I haven't posted anything new this week I figured I'd put up something that I'll be printing soon. It's called sheepish. It's about being transgender. Read it when it comes out.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
newgasm
I have been super lazy this entire weekend. I have gotten very little done. Well i did clean a good chunk of the apartment today so I guess that's something. Anyways right now you're lloking at the first destructogasm that I did not do for class. Actually I haven't shown it to anyone before hand so it's brand new on the web. Hopefully there will be a new one tomorrow as well ( really have to get to work).
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Now in High Definition
This is the first destructogasm that wasn't in ballpoint pen. Sorry to everyone who had to suffer through that but destructogasm is now finally readable.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Idea man
I think it's possible that I've come to a point in my life were i need to make the investment into a much needed night stand.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
XXL Destructogasm
Just to prove I do read my comments, Destructogasm is now going to be in a larger format so you don't have to click on it to get the full size image. I know some of these might be a little hard to read too cause my hand writing is shit. At the time I did these I was just using ball point pen and though I think it conveys a certain interesting aethetic, it also smudges like crazy and doesn't reproduce for shit if it's scanned. The ones I'm doing now are done with fixed width pen and a brush pen and they're written a lot more legibly. So don't worry, those are coming.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Burning through the back log
I know I just posted three comics yesterday but I'm just gradually getting the back log online. I eventually hope this will be a weekly comic (and for it to be on a legitimate website instead of just a blog). But until the backlog's all up you'll all be treated to a daily (or semi daily) dose of destructogasm.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Destructogasm: the comic
For the maybe one person who's actually read my blog it will please you to know that I'm going to start updating on a more regular basis (that's to say that there will be updates for once). During this semester at school I've been taking a class on comic publishing. Part of this class was to make a weekly diary comic. We only needed to make ten for class which I have done but I hope to keep on making this with about the same amount of regularity. A weekly comic chronicling little samples of my life of varying truthfulness and zero objectivity.
Enjoy.
Monday, August 4, 2008
The Ten Worst Movies I've Ever Seen
I know there’s that saying “nobody tries to make a shitty movie, some just turn out that way.” Well here’s a list that makes me wonder how the hell that could be at all true. These are the ten worst movies I’ve ever seen. And these movies aren’t just bad, these are the movies where when it was over I literally wished I could get that time in my life back. Keep in mind there are probably a few movies I have seen that I’m just not remembering right now so this might get updated. Also I’ve never seen a movie by Uwe Boll so none of his movies are on here however from what I’ve heard looking at his imdb credits I’m pretty fucking sure had I seen any of these movies they would be on here. This list goes in order of how shitty the movies are. The lower the summer the worse it is.
10: Clerks 2
I know a lot of people love Kevin Smith and talk about his quirky poignant dialogue but can someone explain to me what’s quirky and poignant about two of the most annoying characters ever created in film discussing the etiquette of ass to mouth and then watching a guy fuck a donkey? I maybe I would have found this funny when I was like 12 but now I think it’s pretty god damn sick.
9: Magnolia
This is one of the three Paul Thomas Anderson movies I’ve ever seen. This movie was actually nominated for three Oscars, though I have no idea why. Magnolia is almost three hours long and the whole movie is painfully boring. I honestly think all of Paul Thomas Anderson’s movies are pretty boring (yes, even There Will Be Blood and Punch Drunk Love) but this movie takes the cake. It’s got some amusing parts with Tom Cruise’s psychotic character but considering the paralyzing effect the rest of the movie has you can’t even really muster a laugh. The best you can do is maybe make an approving grunt that kind of sounds like “ha” but that’s it. This movie actually kills laughter.
8: Coffee and Cigarettes
Nothing happens in Coffee and Cigarettes. And I’m not kidding. Nothing happens! It is 95 minutes of celebrities talking about nothing. I would have felt more productive masturbating for 95 minutes. At least there’s some satisfaction to that.
7: Alien: Resurrection
I hate Joss Weadon. I think his movies suck. I think his TV shows suck. I think his comics suck. I can’t stand his die hard fans. And the worst thing he’s ever done (and even many of his biggest fans will agree) is Alien: Resurrection. I know my best friend likes this movie because Winona Ryder’s in it. I’ll give her that, Winona Ryder looks pretty damn hot in this. This movie is the most unfortunate sequel in the series. Granted Alien 3 wasn’t the greatest movie ever made but it gave the series closure. There was absolutely no reason for this movie to even be made.
6: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
General rule of thumb: when you base a movie on a video game the odds are that it will bomb. But when you take a game like Mortal Kombat, which is really just known for its obscenely violent game play and then rate it PG-13, you know it’s gonna be trouble. Not to mention this is a sequel to an already shitty movie. But compared to this, the first Mortal Kombat is Oscar material. However I should think of a better term than “Oscar material” due to the critical acclaim of…
5: Crash
I’m going to go ahead and make a rash blanket statement (which is obviously so unlike me): ALL MOVIES ABOUT RACE SUCK! I’m not talking about movies where race is an issue or is just brought up (Inside Man was fucking greatness), I’m talking about the movies where afterward you hear the stupid bitch sitting in front of you saying “Oh my god. Racism is so horrible. Why do people have to hate each other?” These are the movies that make me glad that I’m devoid of liberal guilt. If anything this movie makes me want to be more racist. It definitely makes me racist against writer/director Paul Haggis who by the way is white as fuck. His actual race is irrelevant though since I consider this guy to be his own race of assholes who capitalize on white guilt. The fact that this won best picture in 2006 shocks me. The fact that this is lower on the list than Mortal Kombat: Annihilation should be some indication.
4: Equilibrium
I just saw this movie recently and I really just can’t stop ragging on it. It’s a rip-off of pretty much every sci-fi action movie ever made. The acting marks career lows for virtually the entire cast and the plot is paper-thin. Here’s just an example: the government kills people on sight for smiling, and then kills puppies (I really wish I was joking). I wonder who the bad guys are supposed to be? This movie was written and directed by Kurt Wimmer who has unfortunately been slated to direct the film adaptation of Metal Gear Solid. Which is a massive blow for me cause of my affinity for that franchise and that fact that I’m probably going to see it when it comes out.
3: Batman and Robin
Joel Schumacher’s adaptations of Batman serve only one purpose: taking a character that’s been loved and endured in multiple mediums for most of the last century and making him a laughing stock. Granted the 1960’s TV series was essentially a comedy but at least it had heart. Batman and Robin has one singular redeeming quality: it sucked so bad that it forced Warner Bros. to kick the entire franchise to the curb and start the whole thing from scratch. For years I considered this the worst comic book movie ever made. That was until…
2: Catwoman
Let me give you a quick summation of this film. Halle Berry gets powers from a cat burping on her face (yeah). She then uses said powers to fight her former boss, Sharon Stone, before she’s able to distribute a skin melting beauty product. If the plot alone isn’t enough to make this movie want to make you drown cute animals then how about the piss poor acting? Maybe the lame music? How about the cinematography (zero is too many times to pan in on Sharon Stone’s face). If that’s not enough the director’s name is Pitof (no last name. I guess he’s the Cher of shitty eurotrash movie directors)
1: Ultraviolet
The worst movie I’ve ever seen. Milla Jovovich is a vampire, but they don’t call her a vampire they call her a “hemophage.” She lives in a world where vampires are pariahs (ah, poor vampires) and people are obsessed with shit being clean. Oh and by the way, the main character is morally conflicted. Sure she is. You know this because there are about three times in this movie where she just stands there, thinks about the decision she just made and says, “what am I doing?” Which gives me some comfort because I have no clue what the hell she’s supposed to be doing either. So at least the characters are as clueless as the audience is to what the hell is going on. I guess this is based on a comic book but it’s not based on one I’ve ever heard of. Cheesy stylized action in the tradition of so many Matrix rip-offs (which we only though was cool in the Matrix because we had never seen it before). This movie has quite a few similarities to Equilibrium. Maybe that’s because they were both written and directed by the same fucking guy. Unlike Equilibrium though you can actually tell the point of the movie where they actually run out of money for special effects, which really puts a damper on the whole thing since most of the movie is just special effects. This movie is a complete waste of time, money, film, human resources, and anything else involved in the production, distribution, marketing, and watching of this movie. Don’t see Ultraviolet.
10: Clerks 2
I know a lot of people love Kevin Smith and talk about his quirky poignant dialogue but can someone explain to me what’s quirky and poignant about two of the most annoying characters ever created in film discussing the etiquette of ass to mouth and then watching a guy fuck a donkey? I maybe I would have found this funny when I was like 12 but now I think it’s pretty god damn sick.
9: Magnolia
This is one of the three Paul Thomas Anderson movies I’ve ever seen. This movie was actually nominated for three Oscars, though I have no idea why. Magnolia is almost three hours long and the whole movie is painfully boring. I honestly think all of Paul Thomas Anderson’s movies are pretty boring (yes, even There Will Be Blood and Punch Drunk Love) but this movie takes the cake. It’s got some amusing parts with Tom Cruise’s psychotic character but considering the paralyzing effect the rest of the movie has you can’t even really muster a laugh. The best you can do is maybe make an approving grunt that kind of sounds like “ha” but that’s it. This movie actually kills laughter.
8: Coffee and Cigarettes
Nothing happens in Coffee and Cigarettes. And I’m not kidding. Nothing happens! It is 95 minutes of celebrities talking about nothing. I would have felt more productive masturbating for 95 minutes. At least there’s some satisfaction to that.
7: Alien: Resurrection
I hate Joss Weadon. I think his movies suck. I think his TV shows suck. I think his comics suck. I can’t stand his die hard fans. And the worst thing he’s ever done (and even many of his biggest fans will agree) is Alien: Resurrection. I know my best friend likes this movie because Winona Ryder’s in it. I’ll give her that, Winona Ryder looks pretty damn hot in this. This movie is the most unfortunate sequel in the series. Granted Alien 3 wasn’t the greatest movie ever made but it gave the series closure. There was absolutely no reason for this movie to even be made.
6: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
General rule of thumb: when you base a movie on a video game the odds are that it will bomb. But when you take a game like Mortal Kombat, which is really just known for its obscenely violent game play and then rate it PG-13, you know it’s gonna be trouble. Not to mention this is a sequel to an already shitty movie. But compared to this, the first Mortal Kombat is Oscar material. However I should think of a better term than “Oscar material” due to the critical acclaim of…
5: Crash
I’m going to go ahead and make a rash blanket statement (which is obviously so unlike me): ALL MOVIES ABOUT RACE SUCK! I’m not talking about movies where race is an issue or is just brought up (Inside Man was fucking greatness), I’m talking about the movies where afterward you hear the stupid bitch sitting in front of you saying “Oh my god. Racism is so horrible. Why do people have to hate each other?” These are the movies that make me glad that I’m devoid of liberal guilt. If anything this movie makes me want to be more racist. It definitely makes me racist against writer/director Paul Haggis who by the way is white as fuck. His actual race is irrelevant though since I consider this guy to be his own race of assholes who capitalize on white guilt. The fact that this won best picture in 2006 shocks me. The fact that this is lower on the list than Mortal Kombat: Annihilation should be some indication.
4: Equilibrium
I just saw this movie recently and I really just can’t stop ragging on it. It’s a rip-off of pretty much every sci-fi action movie ever made. The acting marks career lows for virtually the entire cast and the plot is paper-thin. Here’s just an example: the government kills people on sight for smiling, and then kills puppies (I really wish I was joking). I wonder who the bad guys are supposed to be? This movie was written and directed by Kurt Wimmer who has unfortunately been slated to direct the film adaptation of Metal Gear Solid. Which is a massive blow for me cause of my affinity for that franchise and that fact that I’m probably going to see it when it comes out.
3: Batman and Robin
Joel Schumacher’s adaptations of Batman serve only one purpose: taking a character that’s been loved and endured in multiple mediums for most of the last century and making him a laughing stock. Granted the 1960’s TV series was essentially a comedy but at least it had heart. Batman and Robin has one singular redeeming quality: it sucked so bad that it forced Warner Bros. to kick the entire franchise to the curb and start the whole thing from scratch. For years I considered this the worst comic book movie ever made. That was until…
2: Catwoman
Let me give you a quick summation of this film. Halle Berry gets powers from a cat burping on her face (yeah). She then uses said powers to fight her former boss, Sharon Stone, before she’s able to distribute a skin melting beauty product. If the plot alone isn’t enough to make this movie want to make you drown cute animals then how about the piss poor acting? Maybe the lame music? How about the cinematography (zero is too many times to pan in on Sharon Stone’s face). If that’s not enough the director’s name is Pitof (no last name. I guess he’s the Cher of shitty eurotrash movie directors)
1: Ultraviolet
The worst movie I’ve ever seen. Milla Jovovich is a vampire, but they don’t call her a vampire they call her a “hemophage.” She lives in a world where vampires are pariahs (ah, poor vampires) and people are obsessed with shit being clean. Oh and by the way, the main character is morally conflicted. Sure she is. You know this because there are about three times in this movie where she just stands there, thinks about the decision she just made and says, “what am I doing?” Which gives me some comfort because I have no clue what the hell she’s supposed to be doing either. So at least the characters are as clueless as the audience is to what the hell is going on. I guess this is based on a comic book but it’s not based on one I’ve ever heard of. Cheesy stylized action in the tradition of so many Matrix rip-offs (which we only though was cool in the Matrix because we had never seen it before). This movie has quite a few similarities to Equilibrium. Maybe that’s because they were both written and directed by the same fucking guy. Unlike Equilibrium though you can actually tell the point of the movie where they actually run out of money for special effects, which really puts a damper on the whole thing since most of the movie is just special effects. This movie is a complete waste of time, money, film, human resources, and anything else involved in the production, distribution, marketing, and watching of this movie. Don’t see Ultraviolet.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Cute girls with painfully mediocre boyfriends
So maybe it's cause it's summer but it seems to me that there are a lot more couples out. Now I'm not super poised to stop being single or anything but I gotta say it's kinda disconcerting seeing super cute girls being all cuddly with the most generic guys. There seems to be some serious gender imbalance in place here. I really enjoy being contradicted about it though. Like on the rare occasion where you got the cute girl with the guy who seems to have been genetically engineered to be exactly one half of an awesome fucking couple. I don't know if that's just me but I really like to be able to say that I can totally see why she's fucking him.
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